Distancing – Journal of the Order of Buddhist Contemplatives

Taylor, Paul

In our current Coronavirus affected time, I find myself being careful in observing guidance on ‘social distancing’ and see it is necessary. But, at the same time, it raises spiritual questions for me about what ‘distancing’ means.¹ Such questions clearly can’t be resolved in a one-size-fits-all way, as our life experiences in the current situation are so various. I live in a town and this necessarily affects my perspective and how this unfolds for me.

I find it tricky at times to find my way through what is going on. What I know is that I am grateful for our practice. It points me to sitting still and, each time I topple over, to coming back.

A line from one of our scriptures, The Most Excellent Mirror Samadhi, which really resonates for me right now is: “This is as if a giant fire-ball; never come too close nor put yourself too far away^”^2. We offer each other space, the gift of non-clinging, and at the same time we keep faith in our fundamental interconnectedness, the gift of non-rejecting. And in this way, like a giant fireball, we allow the warmth of the Dharma to support, nurture and guide us, or we may feel burnt if we cling, or cold if we turn away or reject.

On occasion I feel the need to draw someone’s attention to when they are not keeping an appropriate physical distance. At times this feels in self-interested, survival mode – that another person’s carelessness could have potentially devastating consequences for me. And sometimes it seems to come from a broader wish, not to spread infection around – that we all can look out for each other.

I’ve noticed the way I say this can have great impact. ‘Please’ helps. Tone of voice definitely helps, particularly if it is a quick warning. ‘Thank you’ (when meant) helps. Also, trying not to obsess when someone walks too close helps. Most of all paying attention to what is here, now, truly helps – in feeling out how to respond in this situation, even if a sudden response. Sometimes I am the person who needs to step aside, whether this feels fair or not, say when a parent is struggling with their kids or someone is just plain dopey. It is fruitless complaining in my own mind – its chuntering just burns me. And I need to take the responsibility for my choice that I am out walking for exercise too.

At times it seems good and friendly to say ‘hello’ as someone walks past and particularly to acknowledge the ‘hello’ of others. I’ve noticed that quite a number of passers-by seem to be in a self-enclosed world or walking around looking down physically. We never know why this is: it could possibly be their way of coping, or taking time out from intense circumstances at home. I suspect we all recognise and sympathise with the potential to get locked into our own world, especially at this time. Small acts of connecting seem important, say when walking, or when queuing at a safe distance, maybe in being aware of someone struggling. In some circumstances the appropriate response seems to be in saying ‘hello’, in others it seems to be in allowing others space. We don’t need to view ourselves as rescuers.

It feels particularly important to notice and accept with kindness when I feel locked in by anxiety myself. I find my not doing this has the potential for me to unleash an abrupt (even rude) response when someone feels too close. Yet such noticing may be easier said than done at times, particularly when panicky feelings are around. After too abrupt or overzealous a response we can apologise. But there are times we have to live with what has happened without apology, and it may be that no apology is necessary or possible. I do know that I wish to hold to my aspiration to respond from the connected place of Zazen and not from fear, even though I fall short of this.

A helpful image for me is that of Indra’s Net in Hua-Yen Buddhism.³ It speaks to me as a profound metaphor for fundamental interconnectedness:

This royal net is entirely made of jewels, and… the clear jewels … reflect the image of the other jewels, infinitely interpenetrating each other. All the jewels appear in each individual jewel and, in the same way, each individual jewel appears in all of the other jewels at the same time… It is the infinite within the finite… a splendid, grand, and immense true mutual reflection without causing damage to the jewel in which they are reflected. If someone were to sit in one jewel, then he would also be sitting in all the jewels in all directions at the same time… In this way, all jewels exist in each individual jewel…⁴

In the context of this article, this conveys to me that fundamental and intimate interconnectedness is inviolable and can never be taken away even when we’re physically or socially distanced or physically alone. Our actions and intentions necessarily impact on and connect with everything else and we are impacted by everything because we are connected with everything. That all resonates with all, always.

If we focus too much on protecting ourselves and our uniqueness, we can lose our inner sense of origin and interconnectedness. Our vision, for now, does not take in the reflection of all the other jewels. Yet if, for example, we try too hard to overcome distance by drowning ourselves in various tempting avenues of externalised connectedness, we can mask or fail fully to appreciate and reflect our unique contribution. We may overlook, for now, that we and our life are a clearly reflecting jewel too.

It may be that in a fundamental sense there is no distance, but in an everyday sense distance may be essential to help us find our way, our vocation, our place, in order to fulfil our responsibilities and to cultivate and realise a generous heart to those who are not us.⁵ In whatever way we may come to appreciate this, it loosens our desperate need to defend an isolated and separated-off self and helps us see how we pull together, and in this come to recognise our common root. There is one Net and yet each jewel fulfils its reflective purpose fully when it is in the position it needs to be in, in relation to the other jewels.

The spirit of the gasshō resonates with this: it is a mudra of gathering what is scattered and, at the same time, of respecting that each of us has the capability to do our training if given space. Whilst it may not always be appropriate to make gasshō physically, its spirit of drawing together differences and at the same time respecting difference, is of great value, I feel.

Some words of the Buddha may help us in seeing our practice, and distancing, in terms of protecting ourselves and each other:

Protecting oneself, one protects others; protecting others one protects oneself. And how does one, in protecting oneself, protect others? By the repeated and frequent practice of meditation. And how does one, in protecting others, protect oneself? By patience and forbearance, by a non-violent and a [non-harming] life, by loving kindness and compassion [So] protecting oneself, one protects others; protecting others one protects oneself. ⁶

For me too, the Bodhisattva ideal⁷ exemplifies and expresses the deepest concern for the true safety and well-being of all beings, including ourselves.

Trusting and following the lead of practice helps us not to come too close or put ourselves too far away here and now; and we can trust ourselves to make whatever adjustments are needed. When appropriate we can take refuge in those more experienced than us in this wonderful practice. May we find opportunities for expressing kindness and compassion, no matter how seemingly small, and for supporting each other at this time.

With many thanks for helpful comments received on this article.

Notes

1. This article focuses on the social distancing aspects of our current situation rather than its social isolation ones. See the article ‘Loneliness’ by Rev. Master Daishin Morgan
2. This Scripture written by Great Master Tozan Ryokai, is recited in Morning Service at the monastery, and can be found in the Scriptures and Ceremonies books used by the Order of Buddhist Contemplatives.
3. The Hua Yen school of Mahayana Buddhism developed in China in the Tang Dynasty, 618-970 and has had a significant influence on Zen Buddhism. Its major focus is the Avatamsaka Sutra, the Flower Ornament Sutra.

Common Buddhist Text: Guidance and Insights from The Buddha, (Bangkok, Thailand: Mahachulalongkornrajavidalaya University Press, 2017) pp. 333-334.
5. In Rev. Master Leandra Robertshaw’s second talk on the Heart Sutra in the series of talks given recently on the Throssel Hole Buddhist Abbey website, she talks about and discusses absolute reality and tentative reality (sometimes also called relative reality) and the middle path, which opens to both aspects. See https://throssel.org.uk/throssel-blog/the-heart-sutra-talk-2/
6. Majjhima Nikaya Vol 1. p. 45, Essential Teachings of Buddhism, Brown & O’Brian ed, (London: Rider, Ebury Publishing,1989) p. 65.
7. The Bodhisattva ideal combines the vow to realise the deepest and most profound understanding with selfless practice for the benefit of all beings, whilst recognizing that all beings fundamentally are not separate.

This article is available only as part of the Summer 2020 Journal of the Order of Buddhist Contemplatives.