Meeting Suffering with the Heart That Seeks the Way
The “Yes” of the heart towards whatever is here for us right now, both in our inner life and in the outer circumstances of our life, even when it is imbued with suffering, is an aspect of the Heart/Mind that seeks the Way.
There are times in life when we become more acutely aware of the suffering in existence. On a personal level, there can be times when we are confronted with major changes in ourselves or in our immediate surroundings that cause us grief; or times when aspects of our life that before seemed clear, suddenly feel incomprehensible. Fears that didn’t used to be there are then often in us.
It is so helpful at such times if we can bring these difficult inner states into the refuge-taking heart. If we are able to do this, we are often just left with a simple “I am willing”. And even while the difficult states may still be in us, sometimes our heart then also intuits our true, eternal Refuge.
In one of the Mahayana sutras, it says that the Buddha is like the sun, permeating everything with His pure, golden rays. This I feel also refers to the activity of the Goodness emanating from our true Refuge. Thanks to it, the confusion and suffering of the past can find the help that it needs in the present.
For this to happen, our willing acceptance towards what is given to us in life is necessary. When we close ourselves off from what is here in the present, or try to evade it, we shield ourselves from these healing rays of the Buddha-Nature. When on the other hand we meet what is given to us in life with acceptance, we start to orient ourselves towards the Goodness inherent in existence. In a way, through this inner “Yes” we are entreating Buddha to turn the wheel of the Dharma.
It is not easy though to always keep open and receptive towards what is difficult and often also incomprehensible. There is something Reverend Master Jiyu told us, that has always inspired me: “It is extremely difficult to simultaneously accept, let go of and appreciate our obstructions”.1 The “Yes” of the heart that I have been referring to, encompasses these three ways of approaching our difficulties. It leads to a genuine refuge-taking in the midst of them.
It seems to me that, what often prevents our openness towards what is there in our inner life and outer circumstances, is our strong tendency to base ourselves on an ideal of how we think we should be, and of how life should be.
In the Sandōkai it says: “Here born we clutch at things, and then compound delusion later on by following ideals”. Our ideals of how we think things should be, and the subsequent fixed views that have formed in us based on these ideals, solidify what amounts to an unhelpful rift in our perception of life. It’s difficult to describe in words all that this rift entails, but I believe that it can prevent us from knowing the Dharma and the compassion that is inherent in what is right now. As our ideals and the rift soften, there can be a quiet intuition in the heart that we, and what comes our way, are within the same stream of being, at the heart of which is goodness and compassion.
When there are difficult states of feeling in us that we find incomprehensible, it is somewhat normal and human that at first, questions such as these arise: “What is going on here, is this normal? Am I doing something wrong, is there something wrong with me?” If at this point, we let our ideals of how we think we should be sweep us along, we greatly complicate matters.
If on the other hand, we are able to be with an open and accepting heart with these feelings and what caused them, a response is sometimes called forth in us, that can express itself something like this: “I am here for what life brings me, I am willing to be fully here for what is in me now, even if it is difficult and I don’t understand what is happening.”
In approaching our inner difficulties in this way, the wheel often turns around. From feeling threatened by what is in us, there is a turn-around from looking down to looking with trust. We are thus making it possible for Buddha to teach us by means of what is there.
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And then there is of course the great suffering we keep witnessing in the outside world; in the happenings in the wider world, and perhaps also in our immediate surroundings. Here too, we can respond with the Heart that seeks the Way. Offering merit to the beings who are suffering is an expression of this.
When we hear of the intense suffering that some people are undergoing, for example in a war situation as in the Ukraine at the moment, there is often considerable grief in us. We are deeply connected to all beings, much more so than we are probably aware of. And there is a natural love for beings in us. Therefore, hearing of and witnessing their suffering can at times make us feel quite miserable. For some, it may even bring forth in them a negative and depressed view of the world and of existence.
It is so helpful if we can bring this grief too, and all it evokes in us, into the refuge-taking heart. It doesn’t necessarily go away, but it is softened there. A positive movement is then set in motion, that gives rise to wishes from the heart and prayers for those who we know are undergoing so much suffering. We can hold them in our hearts, offer them the merit of our endeavour on the spiritual path, and recite prayers or scriptures for them.
In our temple, in the ceremonies we hold for all those who are victims in a war, we pray that they may not only find the outer help, refuge and protection that they so urgently need right now, but also the eternal Refuge within their own hearts, the source of Goodness.
Our offering of merit can also take very personal forms. It can be something as simple as offering the merit of the peace and the trust that we have found by responding to our own difficulties and suffering with acceptance, to the people who are currently undergoing much more severe suffering than we are.
When we hear of people inflicting great harm on their fellow humans in a war, this not only fills us with grief, but often also with a strong indignation towards those who are responsible for the all the misery.
While it is understandable that our heartfelt wishes and prayers go first and foremost to the victims, we should be very careful not to let the indignation turn into hatred towards those who are perpetuating the war.
When we don’t allow ourselves to be carried away in our thoughts by the anger, and instead turn with it towards Buddha in our heart, the anger, hatred and accusing mind soften. It then becomes more possible to dedicate our prayers to all, without exception, including those who are responsible for the great suffering.
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There seems to be a direct connection between the willing acceptance of our own suffering and difficulties, and opening our heart more widely for the suffering of our fellow human beings.
Thus, the “Yes” towards what is difficult in ourselves and in our life – which is in itself already an aspect of the Mind that seeks the Way – can turn into deeper aspects of Bodhicitta. In the last two vows of the Ten Great Vows of Samantabhadra Bodhisattva, these are phrased in terms of serving all sentient beings continuously and offering the merit of our training to them.
May our initial, simple “Yes” of the heart call forth and deepen these vows in us too.
Note
1. Jiyu-Kennett, Reverend Master P.T.N.H., Roar Of The Tigress Volume 2, Shasta Abbey Press, p. 181.
