Myōhō Harris, Rev. Master

 

Each year we celebrate the Buddha’s Enlightenment. Reflecting upon it calls forth different aspects of all that training makes possible. This year, what comes to mind is the need for direct personal insight, rather than learned knowledge or copied words.

The scriptures say how important it was that the teachings of The Four Noble Truths and Dependent Origination, and all that Shakyamuni taught, arose within his own body and mind. They did not come from an external source, and that this ability to receive original insight was a factor in making him a Buddha. We too must know that the Refuge is within us, and that we can, and will, receive enlightening insight as the living Dharma unfolds within us, as it did within him. In fact the Buddha said not to believe his teaching because he said it, but to prove it true for ourselves. He urged his disciples not to just repeat his words, but to find their own.

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When Gautama left his home he had no idea what lay ahead. No one who steps out on that great pilgrimage of spiritual discovery knows what they will encounter along the way, or how much it will ask of them, or how long it will take. They only know that there is no other life for them, and that the stepping out, the taking of that first step, has a sense of both wonder and relief. It has begun. What ever does or does not come of it, they have tried, they gave it their all, and there is a peace that comes with that.

Life and time are not being wasted, because they are responding to an inner call to fulfil their life. The receiving of that call is an aspect of original insight, and opens the way to limitless possibilities for us, as it did for Shakyamuni.

We are told that the Buddha tried many ascetic practices, and went to various teachers, none of whom could satisfy his need. He walked on, and kept seeking for many years. When the call to find a truth that we feel eludes us has been heard, and we have responded, there is only one way, and that is to keep going. To never give up, no matter how hard it gets, or how elusive or challenging the quest seems. This time is never wasted. We know what we don’t want, what we cannot settle for, and that it is better to spend a lifetime trying to find what we sense is, for us, ‘the important thing’ (Truth, reality) than to give up and settle for anything less, just because it seems easier. That too comes from original insight, and the realness of it is what sustains us during the more difficult times.

There is a world of difference between wandering aimlessly, feeling lost, confused, and unsure of what one is doing, wondering if we have failed in our quest, or if we will ever find what we are looking for, and steadfastly ‘going on’, into an unknown. Trusting that our life has a purpose, and continuing to follow that silent call, that intuitive sense that something unseen is drawing us towards it. In the depths of our being, the inner ear of the heart-mind tunes itself to this call, and we walk on in faith, sensing that our feet know where they are taking us, and that if we entrust ourselves to that call, we are doing something good with our life.

 

It is generally agreed that the Buddha left home at the age of 29 and was awakened beneath the Bodhi tree when he was 35. So that was six years of seeking, of trust and perseverance.

Not one second of those six years was wasted. He was not a failure for years, then suddenly became a success at the time of awakening, or receiving enlightening insight.

For most of us there will be many years when we may seem to struggle, or find it hard to place one foot in front of the other. Later, as we look back at the young trainee we were, we see faith in action. We see how the call to respond and fulfil our wish to live from a deeper awareness, and to enable the practice to change us, was in progress. There was never a time when ‘nothing was happening’, every step, every instinct to keep going, was taking us closer to a time of significant change. Indeed it was that effort, that commitment to never give up, letting ourselves be taken to the depths of our darkness, that made the transformation of our life possible, and all that we went through prepared the ground, enabling us to be one who is capable of receiving enlightening insight.

What we seek is not outside of ourselves.

Original insight unfolds within us, yet we do not create it. It reveals itself from a universal source that is beyond any one individual existence, and, at the same time, it will be perfectly tailored for the individual in whom it manifests. This is because there is nothing within that individual form that is not of that source.

For an insight to change us, we must ‘realise the truth’ by digesting and becoming it. Each step must be taken one at a time, so that its teaching can enter into us, and we enter into it. An intellectual understanding is not enough. ‘I know’, is a step along the way to becoming the embodiment of that teaching, that insight. This is not always easy, and takes time, because we are too complex for it to be quick. There is much waiting in the wings to reveal itself, and many insights of varying kinds needing to be fully digested and understood. We will be pushed by the training to, and beyond, any mental limits or fixed ideas we have created; we will constantly be taken beyond all that we think we know, and it is a gift to oneself to not resist this process, this preparing of the ground.

When challenged by what is arising, because some of it will be painful to train through, we can be as a sword that is willing to place itself in the fire, so that it can come out stronger and truer.

You cannot make an omelette without breaking a few eggs. If we can be an egg that is willing to be broken, then that is a gift to ourselves. Making that leap of faith, trusting when we don’t know what the outcome will be, breaks the bonds that held us back. The way of perceiving and responding that we had forged and lived by can fall away. We see that its time is over. The restless mind is finally quiet, there is nowhere left to go other than to turn within, asking for guidance. Now we have released the grip we had on our mind, and no longer insist on using it in a way that distresses it, it is free to serve the source, and reveal the help that comes.

All that we knew is now behind us, as we step into this vast, great purity. We intuit that this is why we came to training, and that it has a purpose beyond our imagination. We feel new, small, and as a clean sheet of paper that we have no desire to write on. We are finally free of our own self-created options, and are content to wait for the Refuge to give us direction.

Original insight does not always present itself in words. It can be an intuitive knowing, or a falling away, or an opening of our eyes so we see something in a completely different way. It can be the arising of painful memories or illuminated teaching that radiates through us, or a gradual blossoming of understanding. It can be a subtle indication to turn in a certain direction, or to not do something. It can be a quiet inner nourishing; a completeness.

For myself, who was trained as an artist, and is a very visual person, it often comes in pictures, or like a film that my inner eye sees. As time goes on, whether we perceive what comes to us as wonderful, or hard to receive, becomes much less relevant, because we know it is all Dharma, it is all the unfolding of the Buddha’s teaching, and the next step on our pilgrimage. It is the same.

If we see a sunrise, and then a pile of rotting rubbish, we do not say, “My eyes were working well this morning, because I saw something I find beautiful, but they are not working well this afternoon, because I saw something I think is ugly”. The eyes see what is there, without assessing or labelling it, so does the meditation. Whether it takes us into darkness or the light, it is all a ‘going on’, and has a common root, which is our eternal essence. Original insight shows us that no matter what transient feelings may arise, the meditation flows, unimpeded, through it all. No feeling can ever dim the light of Buddha.

Looking at my own spiritual journey, I can recall times when I wondered if I could keep going, times when it was almost too much to bear. My mind had limits, barriers, of what it could look at, of the inner pain it could cope with. These limits had to be trained with, stretched, washed away, dissolved through choosing to trust, and holding fast to the wish in the heart that came into this world with me. When I needed it, help came to me through original insight, which manifested as a great tenderness; a love that enveloped me.

No matter how much we think, analyse or agonise, in our quest to find what is real and true, nothing can ever match what comes forth from the incoming Buddha, the refuge. To be one who can be taught it is essential that we cease trying to take the place of the Unborn by wanting to control, or think our way through it. This is known as ‘letting go’. When we just sit, in the purity of trust, and stop agitating the mind, by pulling it away from its source, the meditation can do the work within us.

When we place our life upon the altar, what flows back to us is so much more than what we offered.
Insights come, understanding reveals itself, what is needed finds us, within the openness of a clear mind that is content to not try and fill that space itself, but patiently carries on with daily life. When the time is ripe, original insight will rise up on the breath, and unfold. In this way we are blessed with teaching and insights perfectly timed and tailored for our individual spiritual journey, and it is why we can always take that next step, because the source it comes from is our formless universal essence (Buddha). It knows us to the core because we are it. It is why we don’t need someone else’s understanding, we don’t need to hang on to what someone else found. The example, or words of others, can be a catalyst for inspiring us to train more deeply, yet we still have to do the work of training and make them real for ourselves.

Sometimes original insight presents itself with such breadth of vision that it changes our way of perceiving and responding to both ourselves and the world we live in. No matter how great an unfolding of enlightening insight (kenshō) someone may have, without the continued grounded training, they will most likely flounder. Enlightening awakenings in training come as a gift of grace, they are not a magic wand. I have found that they provide the opportunity, and the means, by which one can train in a deeper way, by both confirming faith (inherent knowing) and trust in the meditation, and by opening an inner, broader eye (sometimes called the third eye), which sees what we could not perceive before that significant change took place.

Later we see that these awakenings (I prefer not to call them ‘experiences’) are not isolated, or cut off from ordinary daily training, they are part of a continuum that is ever unfolding, and which sometimes reveals more of itself than at others. It is often after a significant awakening that deeper and more difficult areas of our kōan and karma arise, because we now have the means to sit with those areas of painful and deeply rooted confusion.

Trust in the practice becomes unshakable because of original insight. It is not hope or belief that keeps us going, or what someone else said; it is a truth that fills our being, a coming alive, an opening up of broader vistas, a nourishing and assuring, and the continued ever unfolding of original insight, for which we can only be so very grateful, that sustains us.

An enlightening insight may reveal, for a short while, how we can be all the time. To be that way, all the time, requires years of dedicated training, choosing to let go of old habit patterns of the mind, reflecting within, contemplating in detail, turning to the refuge and offering ourselves, so that universal wisdom can rise up and help us to make good choices that do not continue old delusive ways. We have to want to be changed by those enlightening insights, and see daily life as our training ground, always willing to be taught by what arises, and never too proud to seek guidance. Our mind becomes as a net that catches promptings from the refuge, and we are glad to respond. The practice, which we cherish and pass on to others, will show us, step by step, how to do this. Ultimately, there is just a life that is lived in the most natural, unselfconscious way, where all our actions have one common root, which is that universal source (Buddha). There is no other way that we would rather live.

 

When does a spiritual journey begin and when does it end? No one knows. The call of the Great Mystery for all to find their purpose, is constantly flowing, and the time comes when someone hears it, and responds, and never wants to cease responding. Does it end with their death? I think not. It fans out beyond time, beyond individuality, beyond anything that can be contained or neatly explained. Original insight transcends all boundaries.

It is this out-flowing, this eternal call, that we also celebrate at Buddha’s Enlightenment, because whatever age or country one lives in, or will live in, we all hear (heard, will hear) the same timeless call, we all sit in the same place that Shakyamuni did; we all have the potential to blossom. It shows us that wisdom and compassion (which are not personal attributes), arise when needed, for our benefit, and for the benefit of all beings, so we can unselfconsciously become the life of Buddha, by living in a way that makes real what it is we are, were and always will be.

 

For myself I see the Buddha’s Enlightenment Festival as being a celebration of knowing that whatever spiritual work has come to us in this life, we can do it. Original insight and this practice will show us how. We also express gratitude for the help that comes to us from others; from our Master, and/or whoever has offered us true teaching, to those we train with, and from those whose names we may never know, who have kept this great Buddhist way alive down through the ages.

The offering that we make on this Buddha’s Enlightenment Day, and every day, is ourselves, and what flows back to us is a life beyond compare.