Jishin Kinson, Rev. Master

This is an edited transcript of a talk given during an online weekend retreat in July, 2021. It has been adapted for the Journal.

Today I want to highlight the presence of trust in a practice of Buddhism.

It develops; we don’t actually start with a whole lot of it. There may be a few people here tuning in who are actually quite new to Buddhism. Well you’ve got to start somewhere. You know it’s like playing the saxophone – where do you start? Well you start where you can really, and so I hope that if you are new to practice that you’ll get something from the talk, and if you’ve been practising a while it’s really more an affirmation of what you already know, to help you keep going.

Trust, respect and humility – these are three qualities which develop as a result of practising zazen and following the Precepts and being aware of your own behaviour and of your own tuning into things.

And these three qualities are not just supportive for the best practice but they’re actually conducive to happiness. So if you’re not feeling too happy at the moment; you’ve got issues and so forth, think about those three qualities: trust, humility and respect.

They’re not aimed at anything; don’t try and fix them – they are general qualities of the heart. There’s no need to analyze them, it’s something experienced and present in the method of practice. I was just listening to Alan Watts on YouTube and he was saying that Buddhism is not a doctrine, it’s a method. And these qualities, if you air them, and give them a chance, they can make your heart sing; they really do directly address our tendencies towards emotional turmoil and mental suffering.

As we discover the value of a Buddhist practice, trust becomes taking the Three Refuges: refuge in the Buddha, his teaching (Dharma) and those who from their training can point us in the right direction (Sangha). Trust the Buddha of yourself and of a practice of waiting, looking and listening.

The theme of this talk today is ‘Trust Buddha, and tie your camel.’

So what does this phrase, ‘tie your camel’ mean?  Have you heard it before? Rev. Master Jiyu has quoted it, so you may well have heard it. Trust God and tie your camel’ is an Arabic saying. For us, we might say ‘tie your camel’ means to respect the fact that cause and effect is of substance in this life. Whatever you read about a deep experience of Truth being beyond notions of causes and effects, nevertheless within our human life, never doubt the relation of cause and effect. In fact, have an element of trust in it; that cause and effect are of substance to our human lives. We’re a part of that. We really should respect everything we’ve learned so far.

So, ‘tie your camel’ is saying don’t just get off your camel and walk off, because the camel will walk off as well. Trust Buddha, and take care of obvious things in the realm of cause and effect.

We find Buddha’s presence in quietness. Trust a practice of waiting. Trust the nature of you who listens and looks. Listening and looking may have the presence of Buddha when your mind is quiet and not attached to thoughts and feelings.

When we worry and have anxiety, trust is often swept away, and replaced by doubt, and so too is waiting, listening and looking. We are actually undermined by worry. I heard it once said, rather wisely I think, that ‘Do not Worry’ should be a Precept. ‘Do not turn away from Buddha by allowing yourself to develop worry.’ The more you worry the more you develop its power, and it’s blinding, actually

Moving on, there’s a question: ‘What should I do?’ It is a question that arises for all of us more than once. Sometimes the question is of a big thing, sometimes it’s just a small thing,  Maybe it’s to do with a circumstance or maybe we have a wish or a desire and we don’t know quite how to fulfil it. What should I do?

You know you can be without answers here. We get to feel at a loss. We actually start to worry a bit too – get anxious. We struggle with indecision, especially if the question seems to be a big one for us at the time. Well, you can ask this question of yourself in meditation ‘What should I do?’ and then, wait and listen; trusting, respecting the Buddha nature of yourself. And, don’t forget there is always the tying of the camel.

Tying your camel, here, would be seeing if you can take just one small step – usually an obvious and ordinary step – in finding your way towards an answer to your question. Just take it; trusting the taking of the step. It is a positive thing to do. It is taking care of what needs taking care of. It is responding to that in you which is prompting you to do something.

Often here when you’re asking ‘What should I do?’ there’s another, implied question: ‘Do you know all you need to know?’ If you don’t know, or if you suspect you don’t know all you need to know, then there is your first step: find out. The result of taking a small step changes the picture for you, or it may be a key to the next step. This is a way, a very good way to start to resolve something which needs resolution, one which is asking you: ‘Come on, do something!’  This is tying your camel, you see – taking care of what you can take care of, that you know you can, and you instinctively know something of the result of that. At least you’re doing something when you need to do something, even just that is useful.

Yes, tying your camel does involve an element of trust actually, because you’re then obliged to really listen and pay attention to the unfolding of what it is you are finding out, or what it is you’re stepping towards. You’re unfolding something there and you have to trust that this is the right thing to be doing.

When I gave this talk on Tuesday in the marquee to some local sangha members, one person who’d done Jukai was reminded of the Ceremony of Following where the Precepts Lead, the Ketchimyaku. It is a ceremony where you’re literally taking one step at a time, and following. You’re trusting and allowing an unfolding of a path. And there you go, can you see why trust is so important to Buddhism, to a practice which is long-term? There is an element of allowing things to unfold and continue your practice. The often-heard phrase ‘keep going’ has meaning here.

This question of ‘What should I do?’ brings me to another important question: ‘what do you want?’ What is your wish? Most people can easily say what it is they don’t want. It’s easier to identify too. We are well practised in aversion, and so we can easily say what it is we don’t want. Many of us – not all of us I agree ˗ but many of us are afraid to turn towards what we want. We’re afraid of it, we even hesitate to voice it, because it is exposed – we are exposed. Our deepest wish would be exposed. And, what is the fear? Well the fear, simply put anyway, is that we can fail. We might not get what it is we really want.

Failure isn’t the demon we think it is. Now this isn’t just a Buddhist thing, is it? This is what some of us have learned through our lives when we have actually ‘failed’ at something. I can give this talk because I know what I’m talking about. Failure is not the demon we think it is, so firstly let’s put some wise thinking in here. It’s better to fail than to hang back and never take a step towards what it is you really want – that’s wisdom isn’t it ˗ it’s better to fail having attempted something, than never take a step towards it. And what you can find in failing is that failure is not a finality. That’s what you’re afraid of, you think failure is the cut-off. It is not. You have to fail to know that, I think. It is not final.

So if there is to be failure in taking a step towards what you want, bring it on! Then you’ll see! This is tying your camel again. And, trust Buddha – that’s where you find that failure is not the finality it seems to be. Honestly things have a way – dare I say it, it sounds too simplistic – but things have a way of working themselves out in life, but you gotta tie your camel, you’ve got to step forward and not hang back.

I would like to just ask you something to end with: When you heard me say ‘What do you want?’, was part of you slightly taken aback, remembering that there is the Buddhist teaching, the Buddha’s own teaching, that grasping after things causes suffering? Did that occur to you there somewhere? Well I think there’s a cautionary note with Buddhist Dharma. A step forward with Buddhist Dharma is to ask and find out, you know, rather than presume you’ve got it completely right, because with a teaching like ‘don’t grasp after things’ you’ve got to recognize the context – what exactly it’s pointing to, and just how specific the meaning of the Buddha’s words actually are. Otherwise you’re liable to fudge it you know, and then it becomes ‘Oh I shouldn’t want that!’ and you become someone who doesn’t move – human nature includes desire. I think I would say simply that grasping after is a different response from enquiring into a desire.