Practising willing acceptance is a gateway to trust and Right Understanding.

In formal meditation we sit in willing acceptance by being here openly with everything that shows itself, without interfering with it, without judging it, without dividing it into ‘should be’ or ‘should not be’. This is especially important when what shows itself is something we don’t want or we find painful or difficult.

I can still remember how this step of willing acceptance in meditation was a very important experience for me. When I started to meditate, undefined fears gradually appeared, which I had tried to avoid for a long time. When I first found the courage to really be open with and in the midst of these fears, without rejecting them and without striving for something else, I was trembling inside, and sweating, yet at the same time there was a deep trust, and for the first time I realised that this fear is not something as solid, fixed and independently existing as I had previously thought.

Most of the time, however, when we entrust ourselves fully to the meditation, what I have just described happens in a natural way without perhaps our even being aware of it.

It is so important in our spiritual practice that we try not to avoid what is showing itself to us, internally as well as externally. We come to trust what shows itself to us, that which is given to us in our human life, is in fact that which fulfils our human existence, in the midst of, and as part of, the Buddha Nature.

That which shows itself to us is like the mud in which the roots of a lotus flower lie, from which the Lotus Flower gets its nourishment and comes to blossom¹.

It is up to us how we meet what shows itself to us in our human existence, so that eventually a deeper trust and understanding can show itself, and the Buddha Nature can find expression in our lives.

Without refusing and without interfering:

In order to find willing acceptance, it is very important that we do not strive after an ideal or image that seems perfect and right to us, and then want to get rid of and reject anything which does not correspond to or fit this image, or which apparently prevents us from living up to this ideal.

This striving and rejecting can lead to a habitually dividing mind and consequently to solidifying our opinions in the way we perceive right and wrong, good and bad, and to grasping and rejecting. This often then results in disappointment and even in resentment or aversion.

I know all of this well myself. For example, I often find myself making the effort to be open, flexible, generous and not narrow-minded. This intent is of course a good one, but if I then cling to this image and insist on living up to it, it can easily happen that I become very tight inwardly when something shows up in me that does not live up to this image. So, I then tend to reject what shows itself to me, and fight against it inwardly.

What is important here is that, instead, we approach this with an inner “Yes” and a profound acceptance of what is showing itself to us, that we meet it with mindfulness, sincerity, and in a non-divisive openness. We need to let ourselves be softened by it and not strive for an image of what we think is good and how we think we should be.

We can allow everything to drop to the ground of the heart of meditation where it is held and finds purification and healing.

This is particularly important when what we see appears to be suffering.

Figuratively speaking, we shouldn’t deliberately pull the lotus flower out of the mud in order to free ourselves from what is painful, for then the lotus flower will wither. And this is what we do when we reject what shows itself. Our responsibility is rather to be there for that which shows itself as suffering in us, and to help it so that it can be softened and find healing and liberation.

When we learn to say “Yes” in the midst of what appears as painful, difficult and dark, in willing acceptance and with openness; when, in the midst of suffering, we take refuge in our ‘True Heart’ – in Buddha – trust, and a right understanding of what we had perceived as suffering, emerges. An understanding of what suffering is, how suffering arises, and a maturing understanding of what we can do to help and purify this suffering appears. In this way the Lotus Flower can grow and Buddha Nature can unfold in us and through our lives.

Finding our way into complete acceptance and the “Yes” of the heart:

 Actually, we practise this in formal meditation, abiding with everything with an open heart and without interfering.

If we find this kind of inner abiding over and over again in meditation and then also in our everyday life, it nourishes a trust that helps us find this “Yes” of the heart in the moments when we are in the midst of difficulties and suffering.

How we find this willing acceptance and the “Yes” of the heart in our everyday life and in our lives will feel a little different for each of us. What is important, however, is that we try again and again to find our way into this.

Using a personal example, I would like to illustrate how this often feels for me in everyday life. When something gloomy and constricting appears in me, I sometimes perceive this solely in terms of suffering and I don’t want it, at first. So, I usually try to avoid it by distracting myself. Most of the time it doesn’t get any better, so then I try to fight against it inwardly or try to find my way back to a more pleasant state of mind again.

Sometimes this pattern goes on for a long time. Until I feel like I am on my hands and knees, figuratively speaking, and I stop fighting against the gloom or trying to avoid it. Something inside me asks for help and, just then, I sense an inner softening, as well as a softening of what beforehand had seemed to me to be merely hard and murky.

It is not that what I perceive to be my individual self just vanishes then, but rather it entrusts itself and opens up to what Is, to what is Eternal, to what is Unborn, and finds refuge in the Buddha.

What I have tried to express here, I can also find in some verses of the Litany of the Great Compassionate One², which are each shown below, followed by my brief comments:

All, all is defilement, defilement, earth, earth.:

That which we perceive as suffering, constricted, solid, confused or clouded often feels heavy like earth, when we just conceive of it as defilement.

Do, do the work within my heart.:

We cannot change the view of what we perceive as defilement with our will alone. We need help, and we find this help if we are fully here in willing acceptance with what is in us. What beforehand seemed to be just defilement can then be softened.

O great Victor, I hold on, hold on!:

We do not turn away from what is suffering and difficult. We entrust everything. We trust that if we do not turn away, softening, cleansing, transformation and help will happen.

Awakened, awakened, I have awakened!:

Through the softening there is a transformation of the way we perceive things, and a right understanding of the suffering as well as the cause of the suffering. Our fixed views can be transformed and find liberation.

O merciful One, compassionate One, of daring ones the most joyous, hail!:

When a softening of that which is suffering and constricted or confused happens, the Compassion inherent in Buddha Nature can flow into it all. What appears to us as constricted and as suffering may then still be there. But we also perceive the Compassion and Mercy that embraces and permeates it. This brings us deep trust, courage and joy.

Notes

1. P.T.N.H. Jiyu-Kennett, How to Grow a Lotus Blossom, or How a Zen Buddhist Prepares for Death. Plate LX1: The Path of the Lotus, p. 154. Shasta Abbey Press, 1977.
2. The Liturgy of the Order of Buddhist Contemplatives, P. 84. Shasta Abbey Press, 1987.

With gratitude to lay minister Paul Taylor who helped with the translation from German into English.